Straight From The Mouth
The Morning Mouth's June Interview with Kerry, Bill & Gina
(Reprinted by permission; Copyright © 2007 Talentmasters Inc.)
Are you now the longest running morning show in Salt Lake
City?
Kerry: I think so. If you don't count a short divorce, Bill and I have
been together for 'bout 18 years.
Bill: It's true and that's a pretty sad commentary on the sorry state of
radio in SLC.
Gina: Richie (Producer) also tells me I just had my 11th anniversary with
the show. Kerry and Bill rescued me from another station.
Edgy and SLC don't seem to match. Is that a misconception about SLC?
Gina: I close my eyes and see Osmonds everywhere.
Kerry: Rent the movie SLC Punk, all based on actual events. Small pockets
of edgy leading to Edginess's migration to the 'burbs.
Bill: Well, first off, who says we're edgy? Not me man. I cop to nothing.
All we want to do is collect a pay check and not get fined or thrown off the
air.
Gina: Former NBA star John Amechi recently came out in a book he wrote,
stating that Salt Lake had the hottest gay scene in the country. Salt Lake
also holds one of the largest Gay Pride festivals in the country (which John
Amechi is the grand marshal of, incidentally).
But have you ever had an Osmond on the air?
Kerry: Shemp, the one eyed Osmond. George and Olive never took him on
tour. Were not really "establishment" enough to even KNOW an Osmond.
Bill: I think we had Hailey Joe on once. He's an Osmond, right? Oh and Ken
Osmond. He played Eddie Haskell on Leave It To Beaver, I think.
Gina: We did interview an Osmond. Donny was in the building with our "Soft
Hits" sister station, and we snagged him for a few minutes. He used my
headphones and I've never washed them since... not that I ever wash them
anyway.
Who all is on the show?
Kerry: What? Like air staff? Or philosophically? I know I am. My name is
on the bumpersticker.
Bill: Gina is on the show. Kerry is in the show. I'm somewhere to the
side.
Gina: Actually, anybody that wants to be on the show can be on it. We have
an open door policy everyday. C'mon down! We probably should be a little
more careful about who we let into the studio, but I don't think people care
about us enough to try and kill us.
Stern took his act to satellite where he felt he could do his thing
with less restrictions. Now, Opie and Anthony get suspended there. Is this
just the beginning of more and more jocks gettin' busted by special interest
groups, targeting advertisers, etc., Or, just a phase that will pass
by?
Kerry: The XM thing only happened, in my opinion, because XM suits want
that FCC approval for merger SO very badly. They were concerned that the FCC
would not like their buddies in the Bush administration embarrassed. I dont
think you've heard about Interview it otherwise.
Bill: I agree with Kerry. I also think that O & A loved getting suspended
from a satellite station. They're too hot for terrestrial radio and now for
satellite too. I think we should start suspending shows for being shitty.
That would shake things up.
Gina: I find that these shows are LESS interesting when they have had the
restrictions taken away. Honestly I'm glad to have them off terrestrial
radio. You should have to pay for your filth! (was that too Elizabeth
Hasselbeck?)
In our new PC world, what safeguards do you now use on the
show?
Kerry: We've gone beyond the olde fashioned 7-second delay to a new and
improved 9-second delay. It cost the company hundreds of dollars.
Gina: We have had to come up with more creative ways to swear and innuendo
that have ended up being more entertaining. Bill has recently taken to
referring to 'sex' as 'coitus', which is a much funnier word.
Your favorites bit(s) in the last 17 years?
Kerry: My favorite thing happens everyday, when Bill reads the News and we
comment on it.
Gina: Kerry does really obscure impressions of disabled celebrities like
Larry Flint, in a loving way. Bill has recently been bringing
interesting facts about his hometown of Ogden to the show, Ogden just came up
with a new slogan that will be on all of the city stationary and on the sign
leading into town 'Hi, my name is Ogden and I'm an alcoholic".
And what version of American Idol, i.e., A-Idiot, AI-Sex maniac,
etc., did you do on your show?
Kerry: None. We don't even watch American Idol. We always take shit from
our consultant, that 1/3rd of the nation watches it. I love pointing out that
2/3rds of the rest of the nation was not inviting a karaoke contest into
their homes and are just fine without it.
Bill: American what again?
Gina: Kerry said it perfectly... although I kind of had a thing for Chris
Daughtry.
Best idea or suggestion you ever picked up at MSBC?
Kerry: The Arbitron seminars were helpful. And the tax guy! He's my hero.
Glad you like the Arbitron piece. One of the hot topics at MSBC this
year will be PPM, coming to town near you soon. How do you think this will
change your approach to doing your show?
Bill: Like any ratings system, I'll try not to think about it.
Gina: That's assuming we have an approach. We just show up and do it.
How about stuntage: Since the Sacramento tragedy, how has this
affected you?
Kerry: We dont do stunts. They're dumb and the listeners know it.
Bill: Right. How can you top having someone die as a result of your stupid
radio antics?
Gina: Maybe saying we don't have to do stunts is a better way of putting
it. Stunts are a time filler for people who lack creativity and aren't
confident about their ability to be entertaining on their own. Our show is so
full everyday (and we don't play music) that we wouldn't even have time to do
them if we wanted.
Which of these words or phrases best describe this time in radio:
'Best Ever," "Scary," "A Little Strange, But Still Good," "Unpredictable," or
"Not As Fun As It Used To Be."
Kerry: Best Ever! With all the automation, there are no young talents
being trained to replace us!
Bill: Best Ever! With more and more signals, talent is spread so thin it
makes it easy for a mediocre show like ours to succeed.
Gina: Best Ever! I get to come to work everyday and spend the morning
laughing with the two funniest people I know.
Most embarrassing or disgusting thing that's ever happened on your
show?
Kerry: I made Gina cry once, I was embarrassed about that. never pick on a
pregnant woman.
Bill: Pretty much every day I try to come across as a real intelligent
expert on just about everything and they usually end up being dead wrong.
Gina: Yes, that was mean, you bastard.
Best guest you've ever interviewed? Most revealing thing ever
shared?
Bill: I guess Eva Mendez because the whole time she was talking I
pretended, in my mind, to have sex with her. I actually did the same thing
when we interviewed Bruce Campbell.
Strangest thing that ever happened at a remote?
Kerry: It happened only once, a car salesman DIDN'T ask for free stuff.
Bill: Mine also happened at an auto dealership. A listener stopped by and
didn't ask for a free t-shirt. He just bought a car.
Gina: I had a car salesman come looking for free stuff once and I was all
out of prizes. As a joke, I told him he could have the chair I had been
sitting on. He actually picked it up and put it in his car.
If you hadn't done radio, where would you be today?
Kerry: I'd probably be working at a comic book store and sneering at all
the fan boys who think Superman is a good read.
Bill: Entertaining throngs of students in academia somewhere.
Gina: I'd probably be the lady in Wal Mart screaming at her 9 kids to get
down off the Shrek display.
Who are some shows you steal from, or borrow from most
regularly?
Bill: I really like the Don and Mike Show but I don't think I've stolen
any of their bits. It's the attitude and style that I might admit to.
Interview subconsciously adopting a bit.
Gina: I borrow from The Soup.
Is your show streamed?
Bill: Yep and also available for download on iTunes.
Gina: Download us today.
Final question: You're in SLC. You would know this. Is Mitt Romney
our next president? Had to ask.
Kerry: He will be the RNC nominee! Betcha all my wives!
Bill: He could be the nominee but I don't think any Republican has a
chance this time around.
Gina: That lousy varmint killing filp flopper? Not likely.
Read previous Morning Mouth interviews.
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